‘Twas an average Thursday night and I was settling down to study for my Chinese exam when Roommate suggested we rent a movie.
“Sure,” says I. “Let’s get something light and comedic.”
30 minutes later we were popping in “Paranormal Activity.”
I do not do scary movies. The creatures from “The Village” have left me permanently scarred with an aversion toward hooded cloaks and the color red, I’ve never watched “The Sixth Sense,” and the trailers alone for “The Grudge 2” made me want to cry.
I begged Roommate to get anything but that movie. “Imagine That”? Sure. I can stomach a little Eddie Murphy now and then. “The Proposal”? Why not. It’s been a while since I’ve given in to viewing the latest ridiculous rom-com. “Princess Protection Program”? Absolutely! Anything to keep me from losing sleep and jumping everytime I hear the neighbor’s creaky floor.
But my pleas were ignored, as was my Chinese textbook as I inched closer to Roommate and our spooky-movie-loving friend Moolina. (Why do all my friends have such bizarre names?)
Oh I’ll admit, I laughed through the first 45 minutes of the film. A home video picking up a few faint thudding noises? Please. I almost felt demeaned having to sit through such nonsense.
What a fool I was. Girl going into zombie mode + demon voice +crawling scene near the end = no zzz’s for me. I barely moved all night and dared not look at my phone lest it say 3:15 a.m. For those of you who haven’t seen it, the alternate ending is none too cheery either.
I need to go purchase a nightlight now, so I bid you adieu.