1. The big new Goodwill I’ve been dying to go to is closed today due to inclement weather. Please. It’s barely a dusting of snow.
2. I have two matching bandaids on my hiney from the steroid shots I got for the infection in my eustachian tube. This one calls for some subpoints.
a. I’m so glad the nurse recognized how important it was for my shots and bandaids to be symmetrical. I didn’t even have to request it or explain why.
b. Those steroids really pack a punch. Yesterday I woke up an hour and a half before my alarm. I jumped out of bed and had so much free time before work that I mopped the kitchen floor and folded a bunch of laundry.
c. Giving blood doesn’t phase me in the least, but I still hate getting shots, even small ones. Strange.
3. My dear roommate abhors insects and screamed uncontrollably this morning when she thought she saw a huge spider in the bathtub. Being the official bug-killer in our house, I was confused for a second by the sudsy black form but upon smacking it with my shoe I realized it was not some species of tarantula but merely a knotted hairband.
4. I ordered a pipe online the other day, as in the Sherlock Holmes-Juno-cute old British grandfather-type of pipe. I am greatly anticipating its arrival. I believe subpoints are needed here as well to explain just why I wanted a pipe.
a. I’ve never been into the whole smoking scene, but I kind of just want a thinking pipe that I can hold while I stare thoughtfully into space. Does that make sense?
b. I feel that pipes are so much more respectable than cigarettes. Cigarettes are cheap and smell nasty, but have you ever smelled pipe tobacco? I quite fancy it. **Again, mom, I don’t smoke** And people with pipes somehow seem more refined and respectable. Perhaps I should invest in a felt top hat and spiffy waistcoat to go with it.
c. When I was 6 there was this naughty little boy next door who liked to pick up cigarette butts off the ground and pretend to smoke them.
d. I never did because I knew better.
e. However, I did break into a hotel storage shed with him and we helped ourselves to their supply of bottled pop.
f. We also took turns throwing rocks and breaking the windows of an abandoned building in our apartment complex.
g. And I never felt a smidge of guilt. Wasn’t I awful?