8 February 2009
Anna, you can do it. You can finish this by Tuesday morning. It’s only a take home test. You can also finish all your reading and your art project. And find time to work out with SR so you can look like a hottie. How, you ask? Simple.
Spend three hours sitting in the recliner listening to Ingrid Michaelson and watching ridiculous you-tube videos featuring people dropping water balloons on Port-a-Potties. Fall asleep a few times. Pour yourself a mug of orange juice even though you’ve always hated the stuff. Procrastinate by writing yourself pointless letters about not procrastinating. Then post them on your blog so everyone will know how studious you are.
OhlookoneofthepurpleNerdsyouwereeatinghasslippedunderyourspacebar.PoorJorge. There we go. That wasn’t so painful; we didn’t even have to sacrifice the Alt key. How pretty your bronze toenails are. I hope Rachael Roomie hasn’t gotten nabbed on her evening walk. Good thing you had her take a switchblade along. My, your mind is an interesting thing. Don’t forget you have to submit that essay to the Lee Review by tomorrow. And figure out when you work next. Maybe that sweet old lady will come through your line again with her husband who always dresses like a safari guide. You know, your family went on a safari in Africa a few years ago and your cousin Mufasa was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests. Tragic. And who is responsible for deciding it’s spelled “wildebeests” instead of “wildebeasts”?
We might never know. Now that’s a scary thought.