Anna to the Max

the epitome of quirkiness

If you’d been a fly on our kitchen wall last night… August 14, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 8:42 pm

…I would have gone after you with the original Rachie Swatter. Before your untimely, squishy death, however, this is what you’d be overhearing:

I’ve eaten alligator.”

“Oh yeah? I’ve eaten sea cucumber.”

“I’ve eaten guinea pig.”

“Did you hear what I just said? Have you ever touched a sea cucumber? Those things are slimy. And they move! I‘ve had dried watermelon.”

“Cockroaches.”

“Gross! I’ve eaten shark.”

“Me too. You’re never going to win this.”

“Crayons.”

“Stuff you eat as a little kid doesn’t count.”

“Ok. Hangnails.”

“You eat your hangnails?”

“Yep. I bite them off and sometimes I swallow them.”

“Sorry, that’s not gross enough.”

“Well, if I pulled off all my hangnails for a year and kept them in a jar, and then boiled them and made a stew out of them, would that be gross enough?”

“Nope.”

“Who made you the judge? I’ve had tofu.”

“Now that’s just disgusting.”

Silly Rachie; tofu is a nutritious treat made by curdling fresh, hot soymilk with a coagulant!

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HELP!!! August 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 12:15 pm

I’m living with someone who prefers crunchy peanut butter. Weirdo.

 

The sixth and oft-forgotten love language August 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 10:46 pm

I‘m referring, of course, to pranking. Rachael Roomie is on a 10-day trip to a remote town in Idaho, the land of potatoes, to visit her significant other and his family. ( Me the day she bought her plane ticket: “Just think; if only you’d gotten together with that cute kid from Hawaii…”)

Here’s the sitch: I need to pull a prank of greater magnitude than all the other pranks I’ve ever played on her combined. This has to outdo imprisoning her beloved stuffed monkey in an upside-down shopping cart on her bed, getting half the people on our floor and others around campus (including her own boyfriend) to steal and wear various items from her wardrobe for a day, and swiping all her underwear and hanging them from the ceiling in our hall. Ok, that last one was all Brooke. Kudos, sister.

Of course, it can’t be anything too disgusting like leaving a glass of milk behind the desk in her room for 2 weeks (wasn’t me). Because then some poor innocent soul (me), while trying to rid the room of the nasty stench might, I don’t know, accidentally tip over the thick, green, curdled milk globs and spend hours pouring baking soda on the mess to try to clear it up, making the putrid odor that much worse and incurring the wrath of the 39 other people who live in close proximity to it. (Oh, dorm life. How I miss thee.)

Please respond with your utterly nefarious and relatively inexpensive ideas and let’s pull us a prank.