I know what you’re wondering: did you have a good birthday, A to the M? And where can we mail your belated birthday cards and gifts, especially cash?
I’ll answer the latter question first: this is a blog, open for anyone to read. I’m not giving out my address on here; you all could be a bunch of creepies for all I know! (Especially you, Mind Fart Man. I mean really, what kind of a name is that?)
As for the first question, ’twas a very good birthday. It began with a trip to Steak and Shake at one in the morning with several friends who share my love of dressing up and looking retarded in public. I’ll spare you the details. Well, most of them. But you should know that I was dressed to kill in a red satin dress, oversized lime green t-shirt, hideous pink thermals, and leopard print flats. And I’m not going to name any names, but someone was wearing a ninja-turtle costume that was about 3 sizes too small.
Then I slept for a while. Then I went to my grandma’s house to walk all over the floor to look for a warm spot where there was a gas leak. Then I went home to spend some time with the fam and eat birthday pie. (I’ve always been more of an apple pie kind of girl.)
And there you have it. It was a pretty good birthday. If I were one of these young hooligans you see running around I might venture to say it was a pretty “sick” birthday.
But please, I’m in my twenties now.