Anna to the Max

the epitome of quirkiness

An update on Millie June 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 12:08 pm

I forgot to mention that my dad bought a locking gas cap for Millie. I left this little inscription should the Low-Life Scum Bag ever return:

 

 

Why there was no Foreign Phrase Friday this week June 29, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 2:01 pm

Hello, most faithful readers. A few of you commented on the fact that there was no FPF post the other day. And here is why.

To make a long story a little less long, my truck, Millie, died the other day, right in front of First Presbyterian. I checked her oil and transmission fluid, and noted that I had only driven 76.3 miles since filling up her tank. (***Important detail: Millie’s gas gauge does not work. I have to keep track of the miles I’ve gone to know when to fill up; usually I have to fill up at around 250 or 300.)

So my lovely roommate, Brookie my Cookie, had to take me to work for two days. Fortunately my family came up on Saturday for a visit. We spent some time looking at my beloved truck and discovered that SOME LOW-LIFE SCUM BAG SIPHONED THE GAS OUT OF MILLIE! Although relieved that nothing serious was the matter, I was rather put out. And when I spent $65 filling her up again, I thought of the Low-Life Scum Bag and prayed that justice would roll like a mighty river.

So Millie is alive and well. And no one is more thrilled than Norbert, Brooke’s SUV and Millie’s significant other. He clearly likes older women as there is a 10 year age difference between them. You should see them together in the parking lot; it’s so cute. Just two kids in love…

 

A splendiferous day! June 27, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 4:05 am

My car died this morning. I got really sunburned on my shoulders. I knocked an expensive and heavyish piece of equipment off the counter at work this morning and watched, mortified, as it hit the ground, bounced, flipped, and landed on my manager’s foot. BUT, it’s ok because my beautiful, wonderful, charming, hilarious, highly intelligent roommate (who has gorgeous arms) is coming home tonight. It’s only been two weeks since she left us for the wild jungles of Ecuador, but it feels like an eternity. Nay, a thousand eternities.

Izumi, my friend/fellow sign language extraordinare/lover*/fiancee**/roommate, I dedicate this post to you.

*I promise I’m not weird.

**No really, I’m not.

 

 

If you are a cynic or a naysayer, don’t read this post June 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 8:16 pm

Well, world, Brooke and I have decided to open our own climbing gym. We decided this yesterday, and immediately set to work scheming about ways to get the money. So far, this is what we’ve come up with:

Plan A:

Step 1. Enter a creative, ingenious, heartwarming video (complete with goofy costumes) into the “What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?” commercial*.

Step 2. Win $100,000

Plan B:

Step 1. Ask Brooke’s semi-wealthyish grandmother for the money to fulfill our dreams.

Step 2.  Wait for her reply with our fingers and toes crossed.

Opening our own climbing gym might seem like a bit of a rash decision seeing as how A. We are young and naive and have no experience running a business and B. I’ve only been climbing once. ‘Twas just last Tuesday, in fact; and I only made it to the top of the easiest course one time and even then I had to cheat a little bit…

But we like to dream big. And we will not be stopped by cynics and naysayers. And if any of you know of a place that sells modular handholds for not too expensivish, let me know.

*We’ve watched said commercial about 137 times while watching the entire season 4 of The Office online yesterday and today. (And all I have to say is this: Ryan, tsk tsk tsk…)

 

A to the M goes high-tech… June 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 5:41 pm

…Well, sort of. This is really rather embarrassing. I definitely need to make an appointment with Bloggy Mommy asap so I can learn how to make the pictures normal size…and, you know, not horizontal when they’re supposed to be vertical…

The story behind the pictures: You see, my roommate Rachael is lactose intolerant. But she dearly loves cheese and other dairy products, even though it’s no fun being around her once she’s consumed them. Brookie and I have tried to break her of this habit for ever so long but just hadn’t had much of a breakthrough…

Until a month or two ago I went to Walmart, bought a pack of flyswatters (2 for $0.92), and implemented what we call the “Rachie swatter.” See picture #1 below.

 

 

You probably can’t read the writing, but it says “Swat Rachel with this when she says ‘piss’ or eats dairy.” (I’m also trying to crack down on her sometimes crude language. Like Barney Fife always said, you’ve got to nip it, nip it in the bud!) The Rachie swatter worked well enough at first, but then the newness wore off and she returned to her old ways. But just last week Brookie found this beast, which I’ve christened “the Rachie Swatter 5000”:

Oh, yes. The Rachie swatter got quite an upgrade. How’s it working, you ask? I’ll let pictures 3 and 4 answer that question:

 

 

 

I guess I won’t be bringing THEM a basket of cookies as a housewarming gift… June 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 3:42 am

I’d been wanting to meet the new neighbors who just moved into my apartment building. I just wish the circumstances had been more normal. It probably would have helped if the neighbors had actually been, you know, sober?

Last night, I heard the voices of some rowdy hooligans in the parking lot outside my window. Moments later, some girls (who were already rather wasted) peeped into our living room window and invited us over for some tequila. How very thoughtful of them. Our response? “Foo’! You just interrupted our Office marathon!Vamoose!”

Really, can’t they tell by the fact that we leave the house in broad daylight dressed like ninja turtles and deranged pirates that we’re not the type you want to invite to a drinking party? Now if they’d had chocolate soymilk, things might be different. That stuff’s off the chain.

 

FPF, week 3 June 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anna @ 10:57 pm

Good evening. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the time thingy on this blog is messed up. It is 6:24 pm as I post this. Just another hiccup I will need to consult Bloggy Mommy about.

But you’re not here to discuss hiccups; you’re here for another dose of Foreign Phrase Friday. And that, my friends, is exactly what I am about to give you.

Today’s random phrase:

“Don’t watch ‘The Science of Sleep.’ It will only leave you irked and very, very confused.”

Today’s random phrase in Estonian:

Ära tunnid ‘A Teaduo Odr Uni.’ Id tahe ainult vebadus paan läbikukkunud a väga, väga hämmingus.”

I chose this phrase simply because I tried to watch said film a few nights ago and was sorely disappointed. I’m a pretty random person myself; I enjoy a little MST3K and some Monty Python here and there, but “The Science of Sleep”? Yikes. My dreams are weird enough as it is, thank you. I just wanted to warn all my homies in Estonia to rent something worth your time. (I highly recommend “The Adventures of Scamper the Penguin.” It was a childhood favorite of mine which I recently borrowed from the library. I’ve always wondered what those little round yellow things are they eat on the ship after they get kidnapped by the Russians…) 

*Disclaimer: If you happen to have seen “The Science of Sleep” and enjoyed it, good for you.  But really, what was with the ginormous hands? And that horse? And the creepy guy at the club? And why didn’t he want the girls to know he was their neighbor? As you can see, I’m still fairly hämmingus and a wee bit läbikukkunud.