…I would have gone after you with the original Rachie Swatter. Before your untimely, squishy death, however, this is what you’d be overhearing:
“I’ve eaten alligator.”
“Oh yeah? I’ve eaten sea cucumber.”
“I’ve eaten guinea pig.”
“Did you hear what I just said? Have you ever touched a sea cucumber? Those things are slimy. And they move! I‘ve had dried watermelon.”
“Cockroaches.”
“Gross! I’ve eaten shark.”
“Me too. You’re never going to win this.”
“Crayons.”
“Stuff you eat as a little kid doesn’t count.”
“Ok. Hangnails.”
“You eat your hangnails?”
“Yep. I bite them off and sometimes I swallow them.”
“Sorry, that’s not gross enough.”
“Well, if I pulled off all my hangnails for a year and kept them in a jar, and then boiled them and made a stew out of them, would that be gross enough?”
“Nope.”
“Who made you the judge? I’ve had tofu.”
“Now that’s just disgusting.”
Silly Rachie; tofu is a nutritious treat made by curdling fresh, hot soymilk with a coagulant!
