The story of Jorge May 31, 2008

Yo.

With that being said, there is someone I’d like you to meet. Faithful readers, say hello to Jorge. Come on, all together now:

Hello Jorge.

Jorge, say hello to the faithful readers.

Hello, faithful readers.

Faithful readers, you’ve just been introduced to my close friend, confidante, study buddy, and…laptop. Without him, there would be no blog, no comments to make me jump up and down and do my “whoopppee, somebody actually reads my blog!” dance, and nothing for me to do at 2:09 in the morning after I’ve had a whole can of Starbucks iced coffee. (Note to self: lay off the caffeine, you cotton-headed ninny muggins!)

(Side note: my roommate is talking in her sleep right now. It’s p-r-e-t-t-y funny.)

Jorge and I have been together for, oh, 19 whole days now. But for us the honeymoon phase just never ends. And now I would like to share with you how Jorge came to me.

You see, last August, I started asking God for a computer so I wouldn’t have to keep going to the school computer labs at ungodly hours of the morning to stalk people via facebook do homework. Plus, I’m a bit of a germo-phobe and I could almost hear the bacteria multiplying beneath my fingertips on the overly-used keyboards.

So I beseeched the Good Lord for a computer. And I beseeched and I beseeched and I beseeched.

All year.

Until about April when I visited a homeless shelter and, long story short, decided that a computer really was not a necessity.

Then I went home and was informed by my father that he had a friend in Ireland who, incidentally, happened to have an extra laptop which had been sitting, unopened, under his desk.

All year.

Tissues, anyone? Like we used to say at this funny little church I went to, “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. Jesus is just too sweeeeeeeeeeet!”

The end.

 

 

 

 

 

My momma taught me to be a lady May 30, 2008

Well, kind friends and complete strangers,

keep me in your prayers.

You see, today, instead of cashiering, which is super fun, I’ll be working at the service desk, which is super not-fun. The service desk is where impatient customers come to return their items and chew people out.

 

But I have a plan. Ever read “The Berenstein Bears and Too Much Manners”? Well, in it Mama Bear makes a list of rules to promote good manners around the house. Brother and Sister Bear then try to annoy her and show her the flaw in her plan by being painfully, overly polite.

And that is my plan. Take a look at this scenario*.

 

Raging Customer: I’m returning this piece of crap.

Me: I’m so sorry, Ma’am, but according to our store policy we can’t accept returns without a receipt.

Raging Customer: Well this store sucks and I’m never coming back, except for tonight when I smash all the windows with rocks!!

Me: I understand your frustration, Ma’am. Have a glorious day! Oh, and I love your sweater!

 

*Note: this never actually happened. 

confessions May 28, 2008

I’moveramonthbehindonmybiblereading/Ihaven’twornmyretainerinalmostaweek/Ihaven’texercisedinalmosttwoweeks/Ihaven’twashedmy

carinalmosttwoyears/mildewandmoldaretakingovermybathroom/manyofmydailyconversationsarewithinanimateobjectsincludingbutnot

limitedto:myphone,mycar,myshoes,mypurse,mylaptop,mybike/Ihavethehabitofgivingnamestosaidinanimateobjects,perhapstomakeup

forthefactthatourconversationsaremostlyonesided/Isneakmylittlesister’sgummyvitaminsandeatthemlikecandy/I’vesavedallmyhairfrom

everyhaircutI’veeverhadandIkeepitinsidemyhopechest/ok,totallykiddingabouthatlastone.Gross!/Andno,Idon’townahopechest/Although

IdidgothroughthisphasewhenIwastwelveandIboughtawickerlaundrybaskettouseasahopechest/NowIjustuseitasawickerlaundrybasket.

 

Phew! Glad to get all that out there. 

For lack of a better title, I think I shall call this “Post #2″ May 23, 2008

Well readers, I’m back. I’m sorry to have left you hanging like that (both of you). You see, I went home over the weekend to a land totally devoid of internet, cell phone service, basically any contact with the outside world. (Pardon my facetiousness). A land where, on occasion, one glances out of her living room window to see a random cow trotting down the driveway.  

But I’m back now, getting into the swing of things at my New Job. It’s a dream job, really. A job I’ve been practicing for since I was a wee little thing and I lined up various items on our kitchen table and slid them along going “beep. beep. beep.” and sporadically pushed buttons on the calculator.

Today will be day 3 of cashiering. I’m rather fond of it, even though customers are not always in the best of spirits (like the woman yesterday who called me a Nazi when I told her we can’t accept returns without a receipt.) I, however, remain chipper and cheerful, ever striving to be Fun, Fast, and Friendly.

Don’t worry though, I’m determined not to let this New Job get in the way of US, or keep me from fulfilling two very important goals (see post #1). 

No, nothing, not even a shiny real-life cash register, will keep me from collecting 6 weeks worth of underwear. 

Hello world! May 14, 2008

Howdy. Allow me to introduce myself: I am a Junior in college. I live in a 150+ year old apartment with my hilarious roommates and a rodent named Basil who makes occasional appearances in our kitchen. I drive a red pick-up truck named Millie who is old enough to be in college herself. I’m a former MK (missionary kid) who has spent much of her life in Asia. Two of my current goals are to master this thing known as a blog and to collect enough pairs of underwear to last me between trips home where the laundry is free.